Immigration comes with needs I had never thought about. When you live in the same city where you grew up, you barely have time to see your friends, and you don’t have to make new friends. Having people from your first school, from college, from different jobs and different circles related to your hobbies is comfortable. Immigration showed me that to live without people around is sad, and during the pandemic, I had to start the subject “friends in life” from scratch.
Although I’m still the same super social creature, I’m old now, and my versatility in making friends is not that high as when I was on my 20s. With the new need identified, recognized and accepted, I started to work on that. It was pandemic, and I was on dating apps, around 6 months after breaking up with James, a nice guy who drinks too much and through whom I got a (never dreamed of but useful) green card. Not only none of his friend’s wives became my friend, as none of his male friends ever talked to me again. Like in school. We broke up and I was alone in a city I knew no one.
So I had to start again. Since my 20s I figured out the best place for me to meet people mind liked is the dancefloor. Let’s find the techno crew. Where is the ones dressed in black only looking like coming from a 3 days party? I’m old now, but still works well. And I met some people, that brought me to some other people. and even if with most of them I didn’t have any conversation, I had some 50-100 new people on my Facebook list. Time passes and you start to read that new people’s thoughts, values and morality…
We hear everywhere in Brazil that the opposites attract each other, I believe that’s another lack of my Brazilian folks. Only the similar can tolerate themselves. The older we get, the less we change our beliefs. The only ones who change the world, for real, are the kids. Let’s educate the kids.
Luckily life sent me two awesome guys from the East Coast, and this week one of them moved out of Colorado… my heart is broken. And I have two good Brazilian girl friends around. Obrigada! So far, the Denver social scene seems to be friendly and nice, as long as you’re able to keep it superficial. I thought I had some strong relations, that suddenly were broken apart, I was excluded and cancelled by showing my (lack of) beliefs. Curious for 2024.
Nobody survives alone. During the pandemic not having one single friend was almost death, but on my 40s I don’t need to be popular as on my 20s and have 25 friends. I need one, two or three people with whom I can count on and for whom I will care. And that’s it. Having company on the road is great, but too many people walking together keep the birds away.
Rê no Rolê 